A belated Happy New Year to all my readers. That is rather presumptuous of me I know; Imagining I have a core readership of people who follow this blog on a long-term basis, not just a random, cavalcade of casual browsers. I haven't blogged for a while, as I have been engaged in some serious consciousness studies, possible field reports to follow. I digress. I was Godmother to my niece the other day. Being a Roman Catholic {albeit rather heterodox} there was a part in the service where I had to renounce Satan. Given the sort of person I am, some of my readers may think this an unwise move, in much the same way Voltaire refused to renounce him on his deathbed, as he declared to the priest attending him: "Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies". But renounce him I did, as well as "rejecting all his empty promises". Except, this is very often easier said than done. As some of the most diabolical empty promises ever made have been made by Hollywood. Specifically to young people, although the Father Of Lies has a habit of inspiring screenwriters to produce neurosis inducing, life-envy evoking drivel for people of all ages.
When I was a teenager I swallowed the hype. While there are some teen movies which occupy a special place in my affections {I'm thinking of movies like Catholic Boys, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Craft and The Lost Boys} for the most part they are life negating ordure. I grew up hating myself because I wasn't a stick thin, surgically enhanced, 20 something with flawless skin and teeth, as these are generally the sort of actors cast in the lead roles in teen movies. Maybe if I had been in possession of the aforementioned attributes my teenage years would've been filled with slumber parties, beach parties where people toasted by marshmallows before campfires and skinny dipped in the sea, all the while drinking liquor stolen from their rich parents' cocktail cabinets. No, my life was an angst ridden, isolated descent into madness. The enthusiasm I had as young child, was excited by the prospect of living like the teenagers in 1980's American films. This had well and truly died by the age of eleven, as negative experiences at secondary school took their toll on my mental and physical health and I was home schooled thereafter. As the years went by my heart grew colder than a dying star and I had little interest in my peers. Real teenagers lack the sophistication of the scriptwriters turning out this bilge water. Real teenagers are not the savvy proto-adults these movies would have us believe. They are more often than not, children with pretensions. Not that psychological damage caused by movies is limited to the young and unformed. There is a movie or a TV show designed to make people from every age group feel inadequate. For Teens we have movies like the American Pie franchise and TV shows like Dawson's Creek, Beverly Hills 90210, The OC and so forth. Twenty somethings should watch movies like Silver Linings Playbook. Especially if they have a mental illness. I found the depictions of the life and appearance of people with psychiatric problems highly accurate. Most psychiatric patients are in fact kooky, good looking folk who need a fun distraction like ballroom dancing. TV shows like Friends depict people living way beyond their means in New York apartments. While you feel like a total loser, clad in a towelling dressing gown, weeping on your parents' sofa. In your 30's Any movie starring Catherine Zeta Jones or Julia Roberts from the past decade plus a box set of Sex And The City ought to do it. Why isn't a reasonably attractive man willing to buy you cocktails all evening and send you random gifts of designer shoes, despite looking as if you should be running in the Grand National with an Irish midget on your back. For 40 somethings the recently released This Is Forty {doubtless the first of many such movies} middle aged dilemmas are made light of. The screwball hilarity of having dependents and a mortgage. I could go on ad nauseam but I won't. Suffice it to say if you have the temerity to grow old, start looking in your neighbours' swimming pools for rejuvenating alien space pods. If you cannot find one, it may be time to think about booking an appointment at Dignitas. That's why I've decided to stop watching certain types of movie and TV show. Perhaps I sound Churlish. It's just that sarcasm aside, I hate to think of children and young adults growing up imagining their life experiences to be invalid. Your life is as important as anyone else's on this planet. Most of the arseholes people idolize today will be forgotten in 100 yrs time. Ideas and innovations are what survive. All that will survive for a few years after most modern celebrities deaths are their poor reputations and their breast implants. Live in the now and fuck their preconceptions. Peace!
