All of us are haunted. Our minds are purgatorial realms populated by disorientated, distressed, often unwelcome 'souls'. These wraiths, who wander seemingly aimlessly through our psyches begging for attention or deliverance, are mostly harmless. Easily banished by positivity and mindfulness. Others, such as the degraded being of which I am about to speak are sinister. Not the customary plaintive moans for attention or mere chain rattling. Oh no, these entities are far more powerful, they are vicious elementals, capable of manipulating the behaviour of the host. The revenant which cannibalizes my tender mind-flesh, answers to the name: Addictus Compulsus. Addictus Compulsus. I daren't say it aloud a third time as I fear the consequences. This entity visits me chiefly when I'm online. He speaks to me of other worlds populated by like-minded individuals. People who will 'follow' me. People who will recognize me as the the long awaited voice crying in the wilderness. People who will heed to my words and act upon them, hailing me as the bard of the alienated intelligentsia. Thus will the world know my 'friends'. They will support me, acknowledging the artistic superiority of the outsider over the colourless homogeny that is modern entertainment. "You are a prophet, through you will come 'The Great Awakening' people will be enlightened and vomit the lukewarm, mediocre bilge water from their newly discerning mouths".
That I know this being for a liar doesn't always stop me from heeding his words. "Go online, go online and receive the plaudits you crave, the acknowledgement you have sought all your life. This time it will be different. Today represents the turning point you've been working towards. If you miss this you'll be disappointed. You'll be out of the loop. Your life will have less meaning as a consequence because, as we both know someone liking or re-tweeting one of your comments is the zenith of your existence, and someone disliking or disagreeing with something you post, the herald of your destruction". And so it begins, the cycle. Post, wait for reaction. Positive=good. Negative= must respond immediately, must not be thought of as: Foolish/intimidated/unkind. "You must watch", he charges me, "with the concentration of a cat watching a mouse hole. Turn your back for just a moment and his little grey nose will be poking out, mocking you". So I hold my vigil. Hours tick by, my eyes hurt and I'm bored, yet I must not leave my post, with being prepared to stay at my post.
I'm thinking of creating a video installation called 'Digital Consumption' it involves someone staying awake for 24hrs, for the duration of which they may consume nothing but Red Bull. They must sit at a desk, on a commode chair, into which they may discharge their bodily functions. Three computer screens would display respectively, their e-mail inbox, Facebook and Twitter profiles. A jar of pickled gherkins to their left, a jar of Flumps to their right. Every time an e-mail or message bearing good news from a friend appears they may eat a Flump. Any time anything negative appears e.g. spam, unwanted advert, negative feedback ect... a gherkin. The purpose of this experiment? I aim to see how long it takes for them to vomit. How long before they're literally sick of the vicissitudes of the Internet and they spew forth the demon, exorcising it once and for all. Please don't misunderstand ME. I don't mean I'll never go online again, no, that would be silly. I just intend to take control. ME! I could stream live footage of MY experiment to thousands of people in the same predicament. Just think, thousands of other souls glued to their screens in the hope of exorcising their demons. So gripped they don't want to miss a second....! STOP! STOP IT NOW ADDICTUS! I've got to log off. Alright check Facebook, Twitter and my e-mails, then log off.
