I wish to begin by stating a fact: I have appalling social skills. By which I don't mean I'm impolite or inattentive. I mean I don't 'get' people, I am ill at ease making small talk. Granted what passes for cultural currency with me would doubtless be considered illegal tender by most people. I am far more likely to be impressed by someone who relishes the cover artwork on 1970's Sci-Fi novels than someone who loves 50 Shades Of Grey. I am the Benjamin Disraeli of pornography, if I wanted to read decently constructed filth I'd write it. As it is I prefer reading The Psychopathia Sexualis on the toilet { an average case history endures as long as a standard dump}. While it is highly probable I am on the autistic spectrum {though I have never been officially diagnosed} I am more than capable of polished {formal} interaction. What I don't get is the informal stuff. The nuanced interactions between groups of 'friends'. I'm talking about the way certain people can act like total beta males in a homosocial environment, yet treat women like shit in relationships. The way certain people are afflicted by a fear of loneliness so paralysing they'd sooner endure all manner of horrible treatment by their peer group rather than just fucking them off. Sorry, but I don't get it. If having a social circle is heaven, then I'd sooner rule in my own lonely hell. Yes, you can get pissed off with your own company, but not half as quickly as with a set of dickheads you're supposed to have a 'bond' with. Unsurprisingly, I did not thrive at the school I was sent to and left after the first year. I was homeschooled thereafter. I always got along better with people who were older than me. As I've matured I've found I can get along with people younger than me too. Part I guess, of the pupil/teacher dynamic. I have never got along with my own peer group. Partly because I don't have a peer group. Sure, some people are the same chronological age, but past a certain point what the fuck does that matter? Who decides the age when we should all pair off, get married, go home and pick curtains for a nursery? Another thing which confuses me is hugging. Now, I have no personal objection to being hugged, but when is it appropriate? Some people hug upon meeting you, others may venture a hug when better acquainted with you, say after 4 or 5 pints. Some people find having their personal space invaded upsetting and object to being hugged at all times. What's wrong with shaking hands till we're better acquainted? Robert Anton Wilson stated in Prometheus Rising that humans marked their territory, no longer by pissing to delineate physical boundaries, but by inky excretions on paper. Which is why I'm quite particular about my blog. I don't get many comments of any kind but if I do, I prefer them, whether affirming or critical to be at least germane to the post. What is it with the non-sequitur shit? What indeed. Back to my original theme. The winner/loser psychology is inherent to all human interactions. None of us wants to be on the bottom of the totem pole. We all engage in unconscious dominant/submissive behaviours in social situations. Even if we're only lulling people into a false sense of security, we pretend we want our tummy tickled. Hence the title of the post. Rude Dog is in fact a cruel father, who, when he liberates the Dweebs form the pound, expects them to be thenceforth beholden to him. They are bound in a familial group not unlike Charles Manson's, where they are expected to participate in criminal activity {the autoshop is a front} in return for Rude Dog's protection. The Dweebs are suffering form a type of collective Stockholm Syndrome. That's why I'm with Seymour The Cat, because he had fucking brains.
mmmn social groups - they terrify me. Can't seem to ever commit to being an active part of any. The idea of being identified by such a small static set of permutations terrifies me. Feels like stagnation to me. I prefer to waltz in and out of these things more as alien observer - maybe it's an awful trait but I do tend to treat humanity as a kind of curious buffet and I DON'T have to eat. I do in fairness try to leave some of my bits around so that others have additional food for thought.
ReplyDeleteYes. Oh good lord yes "if I wanted to read decently constructed filth I'd write it"... everything I've seen or read unless it's case studies are so two dimensional whereas people in the sexual fluidity consistently go 'off grid' of whatever passes for 'main stream' these days. Yawwwwn.
And yes - the handshake until I get to know you better and even then I'm not sure I want to press all my receptors up to yours at once via hug. Wonder what the social media equivalent of the handshake might be. hmmmn.